It’s a tough topic. You need to gain weight, yes. But not too much, or too quickly, and God forbid you gain any of it in your ass as opposed to that perfect little “I’ve swallowed a watermelon or maybe just ate a big sandwich” all-in-front baby bump shape society has weirdly come to idealize. And God forbid you feel sad or self-conscious about your changing shape, pregnancy isn’t a time for vanity, you selfish monster.

All that said: I am far less concerned about your weight gain than I am about your feelings about your weight gain. Nightmares and crying and avoiding social situations are the real issues here, not the number on the scale. Saying your body is “failing” you with an otherwise healthy pregnancy is very, very worrisome language.

Eleven pounds in the first 15 weeks could be simple water weight and bloat — especially if you’ve been craving salty foods and snacks. It could be that you were underweight before and your body is simply making sure you get caught up and into a more healthy weight range as quickly as possible. And never in my experience (pregnancy x 3), was the first trimester weight gain any sort of reliable number I could use to figure out how much weight I’d put on by week 40. It just doesn’t really work out that way — it’s not always a steady march week by week or month by month.